Allowing failure

I was watching the women's hockey team at our college and noticed how a few of the parents were incredibly emotional during play. When my kids were involved in sports, I was the same way. I worried they would get hurt, that they would be embarrassed if they missed an opportunity to score a run or make a basket, etc... Then, I noticed that some of these parents weren't very sympathetic about a missed shot as I was when my kids didn't get the score. One father began yelling at his daughter - over ruling her coach - and you could tell she was trying to ignore him, to stay focused on the game. He was a well-meaning father who got carried away. Or was he a father who lives vicariously through his children? Was he a father who expects perfection from his children? What happens if his child doesn't meet his expectations? What happens if he makes up excuses, telling the coach that his child was having a bad day because of, "...." What happens if he allows his child to fail - or have a bad game and let her find out how to overcome the issue on her own?

Hummmm... I wonder if this young lady has ever been allowed to make to mistake? I wonder what her level of stress is when her father begins to second guess her ability and that of her coach? I wonder how she handles the pressure? IS this one of the young ladies on campus that needs to go to the wellness center for counseling, or one of the girls who is bullying other girls in the dorms?

I know most parents only want what is the best for their children. Most parents fall into the "Well-meaning Parent" category. What we don't know, is are we helping or hurting our children?

What do you think?